Here is a secret - I have one post (below) on the Secret of Life which I wrote before I ever considered creating a Secrets of Life website. I do have many other posts on various subjects that you can read at DavidUngerPhd.com.
The Secret of Life
Some of us know the song Secret O' Life by James Taylor. He sings that the secret of love is opening up your heart and the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. It is hard to argue with either of those. The more you open your heart to love or life the more of it you will find.
I have a quote at the beginning of The Relationship Training Manual for Men by Ben Franklin. It simply says: “If you would love, love and be lovable”. No reason to argue with that either. I think between Ben and James you pretty much have the keys to love and life.
Yet there is a piece I think is missing. It is not the “what” you need to do, it is the “how” do you do it part. How do you enjoy the passage of time? How do you open your heart? How do you love and be lovable? Where is the simple statement about how to do those things so you can more fully partake in love and life?
Every book I’ve read that tries to offer a path, every guru I’ve heard that speaks on the subject all pretty much focus on one thing - Gratitude. The more grateful you are the more enjoyment you will know, the more love you will have and the more loveable you will be.
While I don’t have a song to sing about it or a kite to fly I would like to offer this simple refrain:
If you do unto others as you would like to done unto
If you take moments to appreciate the life you have
If you stop saying “I have to do this or that”
And replace it with “I get to do this or that”
If you appreciate others as you would like to be appreciated
If you appreciate you as you would like others to appreciate you
If you show more kindness to yourself
If you show more kindness to others
If you laugh at you more and them less
If you give more and take pleasure in the giving
If you forgive yourself for your imperfections
If you forgive others for theirs
If you do all this you still will not know the secret of life.
You may appreciate your life more
You may appreciate others more
You might even be happier and more satisfied.
But the secret of life is not a secret
There is no secret of life
Life is what it is.
You live it as best you can.
You make your mistakes
You hurt yourself
You hurt others
You do what you can with what you have
You are what you are
You can enjoy you and your life
You cannot enjoy you and your life
Some days are better than others.